Smashing Together
by BibbledyJelllo
Summary: <html><head></head>When Super Smash Brothers for Nintendo 3DS is announced, veterans and newcomers alike scramble to fit in at the newly built Smash Hall, their living quarters far away from home. Humor, Romance, and General Shenanigans ensue as characters clash.</html>
1. Wii Fit Trainer Whips Sm4sh Into Shape!

Chapter 1

The day I moved from Wii Fit U with my brother, Male Fit Trainer, is what I imagine leaving for boarding school would feel like. It was quite a shock, too. One day, the letter inviting me to Super Smash Bros for Nintendo 3DS just came, right after I had finished with my students for the day. It was handwritten neatly, with frilly blue paper. It read:

_Dear Wii Fit Trainer,_

_I personally invite you to Super Smash Bros for Nintendo 3DS as a fighter, your work these past years on Wii and Wii U have not been overlooked, putting many humans into shape. The 3DS however, is a weaker system than the Wii U. I hope you understand others are going through similar struggles. You may decline your invitation, but I advise you to take it. Pack your things, and a port will come to your game in three days precisely._

_Your delighted game maker,_

_Masahiro Sakurai_

Honestly I was surprised. Smash Bros characters were always important ones, like Mario or Pikachu. I kept doubting the letter, but I knew in my heart it really was Sakurai. My face must have run the gamut from freaked-out to delighted. Once in said delighted-mode, I was bouncing all around, and ran into my brother, still training his all-male class. (We gender divided)

"Male Fit! Male Fit! Omigod! I have been invited to... Smash 4! Yeeeee!" (That's like, you know, my happy squeal noise)

My brother calmly responded. "Wii Fit, I'm very happy for you, but, "_Now begin your downward dog pose, guys!" _ "you know that the invitation applies to you, and not me. Don't worry about it, really! "_Now, transition into upward dog!_" "I mean, I know it's going to be hard for both of us, but I can handle both shifts. I mean, I didn't need to sleep anyway, heheh."

This was kind of another shock to me, as Male Fit and I never had any parents, and all we've ever done is run weight-loss courses. Whenever we had any time for anything else, (which was rare) we always were together. I couldn't accept this invitation. What about Male Fit? There's no way he could do men and women! (I don't think he'd want to) Losing customers would suck. So, I sent Sakurai a letter about my problem, and he replied:

_The lovely Wii Fit Trainer,_

_I very much understand what you are going through at this time. I think you may have misunderstood, you __live__ at the Smash Hall. Everything is paid for. Oh, I get it, you don't want your brother to be overworked. Why, having him as a separate character, that would cause an uproar. Not to be racist, but you two would play exactly the same! Making him a skin of you is the best I can do. He won't fight much, but he is also formally invited to stay at Smash Hall this year, with a room, free meals, and the works._

_The humble developer,_

_Masahiro Sakurai_

I was even happier! Now, Male Fit Trainer can come with me! I packed one fresh pair of a blue crop top (not too short) that says Nintendo on it in white letters, black yoga pants, a giant pack of soccer balls, and a travel bench press set. Male Fit... didn't pack anything!

"I'm wearing all the clothes I need, and you took the balls and bench press thing." he said.

"Yes, but what will you wear on laundry day?" I inquired.

"Oh. Yeah, that might be important. I don't own any other clothes. I'll borrow some I suppose. Maybe Sakurai could clone me some clothes when we get there?" I gave up after that.

The port came in exactly three days, where a monkey in fancy clothes named Porter lifted us onto this thing called a Nintendo Network Cart. Porter tried to explain it to me, but it's all too high tech for me. It didn't take too long. 20 minutes from console to console. Not too shabby! We saw other Porters ferrying other people around on NNCs. I mean, like other monkeys in the same clothes, all named Porter.

"If you see a group of cute little boys and girls, tell them Porter said hi!" said Porter when he dropped us off.

I didn't know what he meant, but I had no time to think, as I saw the most amazing thing of my life.

Smash Hall was gigantic. I think it's the biggest thing in the universe. Then, a very hot Japanese man was walking out of Smash Hall, and everyone turned their heads towards him. I knew he was important. Then, he stood by the NNC Drop-Off area. His accent was very thick, and so I remember him like this in my memory.

"Herro newcomers of Dieronto Sumashu Burazazu fo Nintendo Suri-Di-Esu. I am Sakurai Masahiro. Yes, I'm still alive. I don't want to speak too long, but I hope you have a best time."

He was Sakurai! I knew my journey was just beginning.


	2. Luigi Whines Into Battle!

Chapter 2

Luigi is my name. I have forever been shoved to the side. Even my Japanese name, Ruigi, means **similar.** I can't believe it! Nobody respects me. It drives me mad. I am awful with ladies, I'm scrawny and skinny, and my voice is annoying, or so I've been told. WHen I do get a gal, it's always out of pity, and she's always second-hand, from Mario after he meets some new chick. I have my own games, the Luigi's Mansion series. Some people say it's cool, but it scares me!

I heard that Smash Bros 4 invitations were coming out. Why didn't I know? I ran up to Mario, kicking and screaming.

"Mario! Did you get an invitation to Super Smash Bros for Nintendo 3DS?" I yelled.

Mario came in through the balcony door. We're honestly pretty wealthy, but we like living in a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, like we did when we were kids. Saving on rent can let us spend a lot of money on other stuff.

"It's-a you, Luigi! Hello! Of-a course I got an invitation, you dunderhead! I'm-a Nintendo's mascot!" he yelled back. We aren't the tightest brothers.

"Did... I get one?" I whimpered.

The one thing that makes my life worthwhile is that I'm in Smash Brothers. It makes me feel important, that people choose to use me to win, that they have faith in me. Sure, I'm almost always the worst character, and sure, I'm always unlocked by doing something that works the number 2 into the challenge, (which hurts because it means I'm number 2) but I'm proud of what I have. I even beat Mario once!

"Haha, Luigi! I-a hid your invitation in the sewer! Wahoo!"

I was so mad at him! How could he ruin what I love most? I ran after him, but he left the sliding balcony door open, and he ran out, slamming the door on my toes. Ouch! Then, he pulled out his Super Cape, a cape he uses as a weapon, but he can even use it to fly. He dove over the railing, and flew off. There was no hope now. I knew he'd come back tonight, though.

I needed that letter! I strapped on my vacuum from Luigi's Mansion, and brought my Gameboy Horror. Using the Gameboy Horror, I contacted my blood brother, Professor E. Gadd. He's this whacked out old dude who made my vacuum and GBH. I was talking to him.

"Luigi! Hello! It's great to see you! My house has more ghosts, and a few demons too! If you'd come sucking them with your vacuum, eat all your veggies, you get a balloon!" he rhymed.

"Aaah, maybe later, Prof. I-a need your advice. Mario said he hid my-a Smash Invite in the-a sewers! What should I-a do?"

"Luigi, Luigi, I had a brother too! I bet he used his Cape Suit, and away he flew! Having a sibling is **not **too much fun, but check for your letter under the rug!"

So, I checked under the edge of the rug near the door. Lo' and behold, there it was!

"Luigi, _cough-cough_ in all seriousness, without rhyming, you need to toughen up to your brother. Now, read the letter, and take it with you, my boy! Don't sell it, don't lose it, just run straight to the new Smash Hall! This going to be very important!"

So, I read it out loud:

_The greatest Luigi,_

_I ask you to come to Super Smash Bros for Nintendo 3DS this year. I understand your brother is very cruel and unfair to you. Well, that's why I know you love Smash! You can beat him all you want! I have some new moves and tricks for you, and I hope you'll like them. Good news as well! You are now a character right from the start, so no more Number-Two-Unlocky-Shenanigans any more! I think you will like this._

_Your ever-trying-to-be-fair game developer,_

_Masahiro Sakurai_

I was so very excited! I switched off the GameBoy Horror, and dashed out the door! All I needed to do to get to the Wii U was, go to the lobby, teleport over to New Super Mario Bros 2, (which is on the 3DS) and then head to Smash Hall.

As I teleported, I wondered what Mario would think now that I was gone. I'm sure he'd be here in a day or so. Oh, Mario. Always unfashionably late.

As I was there, I saw two new people I had never met. This one woman, she was probably only 20 or so, but she didn't really look like anything, so it was hard to tell. Like, I mean no face. She was kinda cute. But... she was with this guy! Dang it!

Then, Mr. Sakurai strode out of Smash Hall in a straight line. Everyone turned, but his welcoming the newer characters was always expected.

Unfortunately, King Dedede returned. King Dedede look like a really fat penguin, wearing a fuzzy red robe. He has a giant hammer. Let me tell you, that hammer hurts when it hits your butt. Everyone has someone picking on them around here, but why did Dedede choose me? His voice is deep, and kind of hard to hear, and scary!

"Muhuhuh! Wuizi! I see anodda weak chawacter has returned. Bwafafa! Are you ready for yearly hammering?"

I just took it. I'm used to the pain. King Dedede definitely got better since Smash Bros Brawl. Then, to finish me off so to speak, he puffed up his stomach, and floated into the air. I knew what was going to happen.

I tried to run away, but it was too late. Dedede blew out all his air, and slammed his 300 pound self right on top of me! Even when I'm away from Mario, I have problems. King Dedede was thankfully, satisfied. I took a 360 scope around to see who some of the characters were. I saw my friend, Dr. Mario! I haven't seen Dr. Mario in years. He wasn't invited last time, because Bowser, a big bully like Dedede, pressured Sakurai into thinking Dr. Mario was just like Mario, a _clone character_ as they say. Dr. Mario is a lot nicer than Mario! They look the same, they have the same name, but they are different people entirely!

"Wahoo! It's-a my old pal, Luigi! I'm-a so happy to see you-a made the cut!" he said excitedly.

"Uh, it should be me saying that, DM! I was so disappointed you weren't let into Brawl!" I exclaimed.

"Have you _seen_ the inside of Smash-a Hall yet? There's-a everything you could need!" he yelled. Doc was definitely fired up.

I knew that Doctor Mario would treat me like I was a regular person, just like everyone else.


	3. Yoshi Licks The Battle!

Chapter 3

I was invited to join Super Smash Brothers for Nintendo 3DS, but I expected that. All I knew is that everything would work differently. See, in the off-season, I was rooming with Mario and Luigi, but Mario got sick of me, because I am a dinosaur, who can't make income or do chores. I was already sick of Mario, because, you know when I stick out my tongue when Mario rides me to eat stuff? Well, he punches me in the back of my head. Play Super Mario World and look closely. I'm not messing with you, really!

The bottom line is, I decided to get a life changing surgery. I got my back straightened. Apparently I am a medical miracle, but with my semi-fame already, I don't care. They went into my spine and changed it. Now, I can stand on two legs. I almost look like a cartoon. I can use my arms to grab things, and I can run in my little booties! This is important to me. I can fold towels, and do dishes, and play basketball! I'm no good at basketball, but I can play! The freedom really feels good.

One thing I didn't think about, that Luigi politely pointed out to me one day, is that I might not be invited back into Smash Brothers after this big change. Then, I began to worry that I, T. Yoshisaur Munchakoopas might not be invited back. Yes, that is my full name.

I wrote Sakurai-san a letter in the post, telling him all about it. Sakurai-san is a trustworthy man, very kind and equal. He wrote back to me in Japanese, so the translated letter is here:

_Yoshi Dear,_

_I am very happy for you about the recent surgery of you! It hurts your back? Or, has you been used to it? I think that you have to go back without the Super Smash Bros. 4 problem. It would be okay!_

_Sincerely, Masahiro Sakurai_

I was glad Sakurai-san understood. I knew he would! My issue is that, I can't speak English! I can speak Yoshi, I can speak Japanese. I can read English, I can understand English. I can't speak it. I was promised a translation device to wear last year. I never got it. I don't want to complain to Sakurai-san, that would be rude. But, no issue! I can deal with it like I always have.

Mario and Luigi liked me a lot more, now that I can help out. I even work at a bakery now! I make the famous Yoshi's Cookies everyone loves. But enough about the great benefits of a straightened back, and becoming semi-bipedal. Mario was so jealous that I got an early technical invitation.

"Yoshi! How-a did you get a Smash-a Brothers invitation so-a early?" he asked.

"Yoshi! Yoyoyo! Shi!" I said, meaning something like "I only told Sakurai-san about my surgery! Technically, it's not an invitation!"

"But it is!" Mario complained.

Some people are never happy. Mario is always so happy to the public, and he's an idol for many. But, he isn't as pleasant at home. He's not a bully, exactly. Or, is he? I think Mario's just a good example of _The Grass Is Always Greener_ phrase. He knows he's gonna be invited back! He's Mario, for heaven's sake!

The day before we expected to go over to Smash 4, we went to a bar to celebrate. This is especially a happy moment for me, because pre-surgery, I would have to drink vodka out of a dog bowl. Now, I can chug with the best of them. There was even karaoke! I obviously couldn't sing, so I judged Mario and Luigi instead. Mario sang Seven Nation Army, a great song, but his heavy Italian accent kind of got in the way of the song's hardcore attitude. Luigi sang Baby Got Back, which I knew he did on purpose for me. Luigi doesn't have as heavy of an accent, and he can sing really fast. Not always helpful for staying on beat, but when it comes to a rapping part, he nails it on the head.

The next day, I accidentally forgot to set my alarm! When I woke up, Mario and Luigi were both gone. I looked at the time and _cringed._ I would only make it to Smash Hall with the help of some magic, wherever it could be found. I noticed it was really drafty, and I found out why. Somebody had left the balcony door open! If Luigi knew, I bet he'd panic! He's always paranoid about burglars. I think that's dumb. It's like, dude! You are an awesome guy that can shoot **fire** out of your hands! No reason for alarm!

I ran and ran down to the lobby to get to the Yoshi's New Island portal to get to the 3DS hub.

I arrived, and I got a glimpse of Smash Hall. It was a giant palace with amazing pillars. It was like 1,000 acres or so. Not even exaggerating! Absolutely giant. Obviously I was late, as Sakurai-san was talking to some old veterans, probably I missed a speech or something. I looked around, and I saw some Yoshi. I saw Red Yoshi, Pink Yoshi, and Black Yoshi. I dashed over to them. Of course I spoke in Yoshi, but it went something like this.

"Hey, fellow Yoshi! Good to be back, huh?" I said.

"Green, shut up. Now. I really don't care." Black Yoshi groaned.

That's pretty much all that was said. Apparently Black Yoshi turned the others against me over off-season. So many problems and stuff. I mean, I haven't even entered Smash Hall!


	4. Mario's Two Cents are Thrown Into Battle

Chapter 4

Luigi is such a pain. He is nothing but a deadweight. I mean, his IQ is lower than Dedede's! I know this is super mean and all, but I don't need him. I am Mario, the greatest gaming icon. I single-handedly revived the home console industry. I am on the front of every box. It's 2014 now! Last year, it was the dumb _Year of Luigi_ and all. Freaking Satoru Iwata and his direct speech. Yes, we got Dr. Luigi. But guess what? Dr. Mario existed a long time ago. Sure, he's a separate guy, but we're pretty much the same mind. Yeah, New Super Luigi U, but that's New Super Mario Bros with a _slightly_ harder difficulty and no me. Really, I'm the more popular of the duo.

I can tell that this makes me sound absolutely evil, but I'm really not. It's just that Luigi and I aren't super close. I see him and judge him in the same way I would anyone else. And he has **some** flaws. By some, I mean many. We had a fight the day Smash Bros 4 began. Of course I was invited. He was chasing me, but I cape suit flew off the balcony. But... I fell down. I'm kind of rusty.

I just entered the lobby from there. I had a straight portal. Everyone uses some game portal to make it to the 3DS Hub, but nobody's ever noticed there's portal right to it. The button is right under the little desk bell you ring to get service. I suppose people spend too much time pushing it down than lifting it up.

I think that should be my precept in my life. People need more lift-ups than push-downs.

I entered to see this year's Smash Hall. Every year it becomes better. I had an early map of everyone's assigned room. You know, the rooms everyone is _going_ to get, unless they complain or something. I was placed completely away from everyone I knew. It really felt awkward. It reminded me of my days in school, when a teacher changes your seat from right next to your crush to the school bully. I was adjacent to some Villagers, Mega Man, Pac-Man, Little Mac, and Wii Fit Trainer. _Wii Fit Trainer?_ Seriously? No way! Back in my day, being included in Smash meant something. Mr. Sakurai had finished welcoming the new members of the roster, when he walked up to me.

"Mario! So good to see you once again! You have the room chart, as I see." Mr. Sakurai is always really confident and outgoing.

"Well, I-a wanted to ask you about..." I began.

"Oh, Mario! I bet I know what you want! You want a room with Princess Toadstool? I know you have been begging me for several years."

I blushed. **Why did he have to say that in front of all these people?** Sure, none of them were actively listening, but it's hard not to hear what's going on in a room. I did a little anime sweat-drop and everything. I regained my composure.

"Well, her name is Princess Peach. And, that-a wasn't what I was asking. It appears I ended up farthest away from literally everyone in my universe." I said, part accusingly.

"Mario-san. You need to like the new characters." he said calmly.

"Well, I like everybody! It doesn't mean I have to have my room next to them!"

"Mario-san. You do not understand. You need to... be friendly to the new characters. I mean, show them around. Does that make sense? I chose you to sort of shepherd the new characters around, teach them the ropes and things. You have been here since the beginning."

I knew he wouldn't budge.

"While we're-a on the topic, how 'bout that room with-a Peach?" I exclaimed, breaking the silence.

Sakurai completely facepalmed. Then, he left to go make Ganondorf slower, or something. Maybe use his magic wand to give Doctor Mario the FLUDD. If I have to use it, he should too.

With a sigh in my heart, I began walking around Smash Hall. I was the first one in, I realized. So, I decided to explore the place! So much walking, so many hallways! I wish I had my Tanooki Suit to help me around. The thing I was most impressed with, was the lounge. The Lounge Room was always the most lackluster, every year. Of course, all-knowing Sakurai understood our requests and made it the best out of all. There were these awesome double-decker couches, like bunk beds, but also couches. I sat on the top _and_ bottom row, and it was just great, and very comfortable. The bottom seats even had coolers if you take the cushions off! I saw a couple E-Tanks in there. A few Full Potions, too.

The TV was the best part. It had something, kind of like what is called Netflix, but with literally everything on it. Even inappropriate films, heheh. There was every episode of every television show. There also were some candy machines, not my thing exactly, but if I was a younger boy I would just be delighted.

Then, behind the candy machine I hear a twinkle. Not a gentle, _Twinkle Twinkle Little Star_ twinkle, but more like if a glitter-pony was throwing up. It was a loud, slow twinkle, almost like a series of beeps. I got up to go see what was behind the machine. Of course, it was absolutely not what I thought it was. It was a Luma from Mario Galaxy! It was stealing a bunch of candy from behind the machine, and I think it was gonna be sick.

"Oh, Luma! What-a have you done? You've eaten too many sweets. I think I need to take you to a hospital or something. Oh-a, no." I said. Luma's sparkle was dimming. Then, I heard a sharp voice I heard many years ago.

"It's you. Finally, oh-ho-ho, finally! It may have taken me 5-some years, but I have caught-up-to-you!" It was Rosalina, a celestial princess and galaxy defender I worked with some time ago. I don't know why, but for some reason she was very upset.

"Oh! Wahoo! It's-a you, Rosalina! Hello! I'm so glad to see you here! Are you an assist trophy this year?"

Assist Trophies are little things you can use in fights. If a little Assist Trophy gets lowered into the stage, you can hold it up, and an Assist Trophy character (who sits on the sidelines) gets called in to help you for a bit. Assist Trophy characters are usually less important, side ones. They live in the lowest level of the Smash Hall, usually called AssTro Floor, pronounced Astro. I don't even think it's air-conditioned down there. Rosalina, is a side-enough character that she could make Assist Trophy.

"Oh, no Mario. I am a character. A **main character**. I worked hard to get here, because I knew you'd come. You _are_ the great Mario, after all." There was a bitter tone in her usually sweet voice, like a Granny Smith Apple.

"Rosalina, are you-a mad?" I asked, meekly.

"**OF COURSE I'M MAD, YOU JERK!**" she yelled at me. She waved her magic wand, calling Luma over. She held the now-green Luma in her hands, rocking it back and forth like a baby. It was weird to see her so sweet and loving after her sudden outburst. Although, it's hard not to be happy holding a Luma, as aLuma is a cute little yellow star shaped creature, that is very cute. Some people might even call it kawaii.

"You stood me up for a date, the _supposed _last day of yours in space. But guess what? I got us seats at the most expensive area in literally all over the universe! It's so expensive, you couldn't even believably pay! You have to be the most important to even get it down to an _outrageous level_ still! But no, apparently you left with your mistreated little brother, and went back down to your little Mushroomy Kingdom, leaving me sitting there, sad and lonely looking.

"Rosalina," I began, cautiously. You **don't **want to make her mad. She could technically blow up the universe, if she was in such a mood. "I had-a to leave early to catch the rocket. The dates were-a 2-week early estimates. Those special-a rockets are timed precisely and robot commandeered! Also, I couldn't go on that date with you, because, well, I'm married."

"**WHAT?**" she blew up. "No! This is all wrong! How could you have a wife? We went on dates before that!"

"To be fair, that-a was a lunch meeting. Like-a, with Luigi present. Strictly-a business." I sighed. I couldn't believe Rosalina thought all that stuff. If I was her, I'd think I was the bad guy, too! "Plus, who do you think I'm always saving from castles?" I added.

"Not fair! I will do my best to destroy you in combat, Mario! Sakurai-san said I could even bring Luma! You-don't-stand-a-**CHANCE!**" she sneered, and blew a kiss my way. Then she levitate-flew off to god-knows-where.

I can't believe I get myself into these things!


	5. Wii Fit Trainer Meets Ness

Chapter 5

After the _amazing_ welcoming to Smash Hall, there was this big feast. I think maybe Sakurai likes to play Willy Wonka sometimes, just trying to display these giant things of merriment. Because of the feast, it had games and stuff too, and so we never actually got to see Smash Hall, because it lasted until every single character had passed out from exhaustion.

Outside, a really big table was set up. Oddly, it was rectangular, but not exactly, because the corners were slightly cut off to make 4 extra spaces. Each space had this little name tag, with a little icon next to it. I was seated next to this little boy. His name card read "Ness" and had the shape of a planet next to it.

"Hi Ness!" I said, waving. He turned and looked at me like I was crazy. "What?" I asked. Obviously something was wrong.

"Oh, ummm.. hey. You just scared me a little, that's all. I didn't see you coming." he said.

"How, exactly? I was here _before_ you were." I reasoned.

"Well, in all honesty, um.." he stammered.

"Is it how I look?" I said. He nodded sheepishly. "Yeah, I can tell I'm pretty different from the people around here. And that includes the giant, fire-breathing lizard and the girly-man with lightning powers and a sword!" Ness laughed, and I laughed too.

"So... you're Wii Fit Trainer?" he asked. Then, he began to eat a cookie. Just, like, this one, really tiny cookie. I don't know where it came from.

"Yes sir!" I said. "So... you're Ness!"

"Well obviously, you must have read my name card. What do you do?"

What did I do? What does he mean?

"Uh, I run an aerobics class to get people into shape. I say stuff like Feel The Burn or Suck In Those Glutes!" I said, in my semi-robotic voice that I always say those quotes in. It could be argued my rest-of-the-time voice sounds the same way, and I suppose it does. "What does a little boy shouting 'Peekay Something!' or whacking people with a baseball bat do?" I asked, I **had** heard of him before, after all! But, I didn't know his name then.

"Agh!" he groaned. "Well, I saved the world from an evil monster called Giygas, with my greatest friends Paula, Jeff, and Pu. I have psychic powers, which result in my PK attacks, and baseball bats are **awesome!** Have you ever tried one?" Ness was definitely a kid, I could tell by his sorta stuttery speech pattern, and he sounded a little hyped up like he had sugar recently.

"Do you want some quinoa?" I asked, finally taking some food.

"What's that, Wii Fit?" he asked, with all the innocence of a little boy.

"Well, it's these little seeds that have a lot of nutrients in them. It makes you strong." I explained to him.

"Like peas? Or... uncooked popcorn? No, thank you." he said.

So, I ate some Quinoa. Sakurai probably only got it for Male Fit and I. I didn't see him anywhere! I hope at least he was out socializing with someone. I ate my quinoa rather silently, and it dawned upon me how boring this was. I wanted to go do something.

"Wii Fit, are you okay?" Ness asked. "Do you need to use the toilet? I know where one is!" He kinda laughed. Oh, ten year olds and their ten year old senses of humor. I wish I could be that young.

"Nah, Ness. But thank you! I just need to move! I'm getting kind of antsy." I told him.

"Antsy like when you have to go?" Ness was exploding in laughter now.

"NO!" I yelled, but not like a mad yell. Like a playful yell.

"Well, you can go play some of the games. Do you want me to come with you? I've actually been done with my cookie for a long time, it was just kind of awkward waiting for you to finish."

"Heck yeah!" I exclaimed. I felt like a little kid again at a new playground.

The first thing we did was some training. Mario was recruited to help out, I guess.

"Hey, it's you! Mario! I'm Wii Fit Trainer and this is.."

"Yes. I-a know. It's Ness." he said, unenthused. Then, Ness came out from under him and shouted a mighty "PK THUNDER!" which hit Mario from underneath, shooting him up into the air.

"Hey, Ness! What was that for? You were _invited_ to come here! You need to be respectful!" I scolded.

"Why are _you_ telling me what to do? I've been around just as long as he has! Besides, I prank him every year. That's why he said my name so deflated!"

I wasn't going to argue with him any more. Ness showed me how to put on these restraint vests so we can't kill each other.

"No matter how much we want to!" he said to me. I cracked a scoff-smile thing. Do you know what I'm talking about? You know, when you want to signify something is funny without laughing out loud, say, in class. You do a little smirky half-smile and do a scoffy noise.

There was a raised platform with high walls. Parts of the wall were glass so people could watch you train.

"You may make the first attack. Ladies first!" Ness smirked.

I had no idea what to do! I just took some deep breaths to regain my confidence.

"What I dooooo?" I wailed, honestly a lot like a baby.

"It seems you just discovered your first move!" Ness said, excitedly. "This'll probably be your Down Special."

"What in Arceus' name is that?" I asked.

"Don't worry about it. All you need to know is that, Deep breathing makes you faster, stronger, and you can launch things farther. That's all there is to it. Now, do other stuff you normally do." Ness obviously knew what he was talking about.

So, I ran up to Ness to see if he was right. He was! Deep Breathing did make me faster! So, I began punching Ness with all my might. Of course, I wasn't used to doing all this stuff, but it was such a great feeling. Ness bounced off the walls after my kicks.

"Hey, Wii Fit! Watch this!" Ness yelled down to me. I had knocked him pretty high. Then, he screamed "PK THUNDER!" and brought out another spark. But what he did was surprising! He controlled the electricity to hit him, and blast him down. He rocketed at top speed. I thought he would burst into flames. I realized the purpose was to land on me! Then I noticed Male Fit Trainer at one of the windows.

"Wii Fit! Run away, and when he crashes into the ground, use some more deep breaths! After that, try a Sun Salutation! It's a big energy ball you can charge up! I was practicing with Luigi, Mario's brother! It really works, hurry!" I avoided Ness just in time. He was dazed just long enough to have some quick Deep Breaths and to start charging up my Sun Salutation. As I was charging, I maxed it out!

Then, I realized, in my moment of peace, Ness had been charging up his baseball bat at the same time! I wished I could have a shield in times like this. To my surprise, I was suddenly surrounded my a big red field of energy! At first I was afraid it was another one of Ness' attacks, but it absorbed the hit of Ness' bat, letting me survive. I rolled out of the way, getting behind Ness, and I then hit him with a Deep Breath boosted fully charged Sun Salutation. Ouch! I blasted him into the wall so hard, he actually _lost_ Training mode.

I wanted to laugh, but I didn't. I helped him up, and I took off the special vest for him. The night was dark, but Male Fit Trainer put a comforting arm around me. It's so great to have a brother who's always there for you.


	6. FALCOOON PAUNCH

Chapter 6

Aw yeaah! I was so stoked for Smash 4! I was counting down the days until I could bust out my Falcon PAUNCH on some unsuspecting foe. Yes, I'm slow. But I'm faster than Ganondorf! Maybe my Falcon Punch takes too long to charge, but I play life in the slow lane. It's been too long since I Falcon Pwned all the F-Zero tournaments there ever were. Yes, my prize money allows me to live lavishly, _and_ 5 generations after me, but I need my challenges in life, by george!

Who even says by george? I do, and can because I'm Captain Falcon, and saying "Show me ya moves!" over and over, year after year, requires me to get creative with my exclamations. Anyway, I was invited to the new Smash Brothers game by Mr. Whatevertheheckhislastnameis. He's nice enough, I guess. It took me a while to hop from my many games all the way to the 3DS, or whatever the newfangled system is. From what I heard, I was at least a day late and missed some great feast with whatever everybody likes. Shame, because after a month of traveling from obscure game to game, (because all my games are so old, so I must leave a month in advance) I could use some ribs and a beer. Or even some of those little pretzel twist things!

I didn't even know I was late, until I saw the hustle and bustle of the place. I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off, trying to find some familiar face. Stumbling around, I noticed that Smash Hall now had a Food Court. Whoa!

"Ahoy there!" I shouted. I did a two-finger salute. Normal tough-guy routine. No biggie. I could hear my voice bounce off the walls due to the absolute volume of my greeting combined with the high as a kite ceiling.

I looked around. Nobody was cooking at any of the little food carts. I saw a newcomer though! Pac-Man finally joined the battle!

"Heyo, Pac Man! Wokka wokka!" I said in my best Fozzie Bear voice.

"Not even funny. I'm far past those days. I have adventure games! Platformers! A TV show all my own! But guess what? All I'm remembered for is my lame old arcade game that only old-timers remember!" he broke down, sobbing. Only then did he turn his head to see it was me. "Oh. You must be Captain Falcon. Just so you know, I'm sort of having a crisis. Villager from Animal Crossing, the female one, was here a couple minutes ago. She really helps. It's so great to meet you, by the way!"

He got up from his booth. He wasn't eating anything either. I mean, how could he if all the stands were closed? He must have been sitting there for privacy. He left, but I silently followed. I might not be the most quiet guy, but I've performed my fair share of espionage in my time. I figured he knew where he was going. Either he was incredibly smart for knowing nobody would be in the Food Court, or he was incredibly stupid and didn't feel like leaving. I assumed the former, and so I followed him to wherever he was going.

I suppose he was heading back to his room, as he approached a long hallway of doors. I was his shadow all the way until he turned into his room. At that point, I was lost! Where was my room? By the grace of God, my room happened to be across the wall from his! I saw my door said 'Captain Falcon' on it in extravagant, golden letters. Then, it said 'Achievements:' underneath in identical golden print. Actually, everyone's doors said that. Not the Captain Falcon part, but the Achievements part was the same. I didn't have any yet, of course. Unless they gave out medals for being a day late. Pac-Man had one though. It was one for being new.

Ah, well. I entered my room to see how amazing it is. Yes, it was beautiful! Mr. Sakurai must have really researched every character this year, as everything in my room was absolutely perfect. In fact, there was even a mini-bar! The bartender was this cute little robot too! She had this display panel, showing her simple face. It resembled an electrical socket a little. Out of the bottom of said monitor, there was one arm sticking out.

"Hello, Captain Falcon. I am Monita. I am the robotic bartender of your room, and your companion otherwise." she said, in a monotone voice. This took me by quite a surprise!

"Hey there, Monita!" I boomed. "Are you programmed to talk back and forth?"

"But, of course Captain Falcon! I can do pretty much anything!" she buzzed.

"Hmmm," I thought, stroking my imaginary beard. "Could you... invent an original drink celebrating my return to Smash?"

"Yes, sir. I'll whip it right up."

Monita got out a mixer, and began to pour some vodka. She infused four colors into it, purple, green, yellow, and blue. The colors of the four original F-Zero racers! "_She must really know her stuff!"_ I thought. She then put a little umbrella into it, but it wasn't an umbrella, it was my racer, the Blue Falcon! I was more impressed by the minute.

"Captain Falcon, I have completed your request. Your F-Zero mixer is complete." she hummed enthusiastically.

"Cool, Monita! You nailed it!" I exclaimed.

Honestly, I was more impressed that she was a robot with sentient speech. Did Sakurai invent this? If he did, I must owe him more than one! I decided to test her knowledge.

"Why do you exist?" I asked.

"Why do _you_ exist?" she shot back. Humor isn't as funny when the joker can't smile. Also, it generally helps to have a voice with more than one note. "But really, I exist to help out. I was supposed to do work all around the Smash Hall, but Sakurai-san told me to just stick with you.

"Why did he tell you to stick with me? I asked, curious.

"He said you were..." Apparently robots can speak now, but they can't exactly nail dramatic pauses. "well, a little reckless, and needed a little assistance."

Well, right then I lost all my faith in humanity. How am I reckless? Yeah, maybe last year I rode Blue Falcon through the halls of Smash Palace, and yes, the year before that I had a giant party on the Asstro Floor of Smash Colosseum, where I knew Sakurai wouldn't notice. But I'm not reckless! Not a tiny bit, no.

"Monita, I think I'm gonna head out and see if I can crash some sort of party that's always going on all of the sudden." I said, laughing.

"Okay, CapFal!" Monita chirped. "I'm not going anywhere!"

I met Wii Fit Trainer in the gym, she was stretching and doing yoga or whatever she does.

"Hello, there! You must be Wii Fit Trainer, yes?" I asked.

"Yeah! You must be... Samurai Goroh!" she laughed. "Nah, you're Captain FAULCOON!"

My Falcon Punch is what everyone knows me by, I guess. Why not my handsome good looks? Why not my bravery? Well, not _always_ bravery.

"It's always good to see more athletic focused competitors, especially such a pretty one!"

Wii Fit kind of blushed for a moment, when Ness burst in. Oh, he's such a pain!

"Hey, Wii Fit! Hey! I just met someone new!" Ness shouted.

"Um, Ness, what is it?" she stammered.

"Her name's Lucina! She said she was a descendant of Marth! Cool, huh?" he said, excitedly. Ness is always so enthusiastic.

"That's nice! But, Marth isn't _that_ old! Is he?" Wii Fit Trainer asked him.

"Maybe he's born with it, maybe it's Maybelline!" I cracked up.

"No, no! I think it's kind of a time travel thing! Still awesome, though!" said Ness.

We hung out a little longer, joking and laughing, and talking. Minutes became hours. By then, it was so late we all had to go back to our rooms. Having friends is just great.


	7. The Rosalina Chapter Uh Huh

Chapter 7

I have worked so very hard to make it here. I did everything possible. I needed to catch up with Mario. But are the things I did to be here all right? I did do some thing's I wasn't proud of. Yes, I threw the Ice Climbers off the cliff so Luma and I could replace them. Maybe I blinded Sakurai while he was writing invitations so I could steal Snake's.

Woman's duty, right? Mario wronged me, and I have been on the warpath too long. He stood me up at the best place in the _entire universe_ and yet he wasn't there. No excuse can make that sound good. Now, everyone will hear Rosalina and Luma blasted on the speakers every match.

We _are_ the most powerful! Not only am I a magical maiden, I pretty much own the observable universe, and take claim to anything outside of that.

I saw Mario before Smash Hall was even opened! I was just so curious to explore the place. I floated up to the roof, and I just sat on the ledge, looking at the glowing sun. Luma floated up after me, twinkling her way next to me.

"Luma, I hope you're proud of where we are right now," I began. "because we are _literally_ in the greatest place on Earth. I think that this year, and every year after, we **will** nail it! Furthermore-" I stopped. Luma was gone! "Ohnoohnoohnoohno! Omigod,omigod, I need to find Luma now holy crap omigod!"

I dashed in through an air vent. It was dusty! I think I heard some radioactive rats trying to poison me. Common legend states that once, radioactive rats invaded the original Smash Castle, and kept out a couple burglars back in the day. Supposedly, they've been brought back as protection every year. Sure, I didn't see one, but it still might be there! I finally found a ceiling panel to escape from, after what seemed like eternity.

I flew through the front hall, and guess what I see? Luma! Unfortunately, this happy moment was bittersweet, because Mario was there, watching Luma eat way too much candy. I called Luma over, rocking her in my hands.

I honestly did chew Mario out. Really, really hard. To be honest, it was really hard to be so angry! I thought I would get wrinkles and liver spots from all this yelling.

I ended with a good "You don't stand a chance!" and a kiss for good measure.

Then, I flew off to continue exploring. Luma followed close behind. Luma can communicate in twinkles, which is either the most adorable, or most awesome thing ever.

"Agh, Mario is _such_ a pain!" I groaned.

"Twinkle Twink Twinkle!" said Luma. (But you love him even so, huh?)

"Yeah. D'ya think any other people will be here?"

"Spark Twink Twinkle!" Luma beamed. (Yes! I heard there are a **lot** of women now! You'll have some gal pals!)

"Gal pals? What the... is that just like friends that are female? What do you do with gal pals? I'm always so busy _running the entire universe_ and whatnot, I don't always have time for socializing!" I was confused.

"Twinkilinkilink! Zoooodink! Sparkle!" Luma said, enthused. (Gal pals are like super special girls you hang out with to have fun! Haven't you ever had a Ladies' Night Out? I bet that would be pretty crazy, with all these different kinds of characters!)

After a nice little chat with Luma, and a very long trip down the hallways, we found the gym! Anyone who was already here would probably want to get a head-start on their training! Unless they were crazy little adventurers like Luma and I. I swung open the double doors to reveal the largest, most luxurious gym I'd ever seen! Everything you could imagine, right there in one giant room!

It seemed no one was there, disappointingly. I looked around to see if I could find anything cool. I found a yoga ball! You know, the big bouncy rubber ball you sit on to bounce around. There was even a little handle to help you hold on! I saddled myself on top of it, choosing a cool teal colored one, and as I sat down, I realized I had never actually done this before. All of a sudden, Luma somehow pushed me forward, and off I went. At first, I had the hang of it, but then my momentum began increasing a little quick for my taste.

"Luma? I'm going a little too fast! How do I-" _Click!_

The lights went off, and I screamed. Luma began rumbling, but then, she was silent too. Her sparkle turned off, and it became absolutely pitch-dark.

"Luuuma?" my voice echoed.

"Ma mimi mo, ba doo doo, o ri ma! Elele doo do wa, mi... to... re..." a voice sang, in gibberish. I recognized the tune as Totaka's Song, a short little piece I had heard more than once. By now, I was scared out of my wits.

"Whoever you are, get away from me! Or I'll, or I'll..." I whimpered.

I saw a flash of a person. I saw another! Then, the lights went on again! Luma was gone. I saw about five little boys and girls. They were the Villagers! I knew them!

"Um, guys? Hey. I'm Rosalina, _technically_ I protect the entire universe, so you should, like, give me Luma back. Please?" I begged.

One of the Villagers smiled, and winked. He knelt down, and put down a sapling. Another Villager stepped from the shadows. She clutched a watering can seemingly bigger than her face. She sprinkled on some water. The sapling began to grow bigger and bigger. It began creaking as it cracked through the tiled floor. The tiles began shattering. As it grew, I noticed the tree had a big imprint of... Luma! I was terrified once again. The Villagers were nowhere to be found, either! They must have all taken their leave.

I flew up to the treetop. "_Surely the ceiling will stop it,"_ I thought. But, no! The big tree began to push against the ceiling (and roof) of Smash Hall! I panicked, and shrieked as loud as I could. Then, I heard the sound of thundering boots. Suddenly, a green clad somewhat elfin man rushed through the doors.

"Heeeyaaaaah!" he yelled, unsheathing his mighty sword.

He slashed into the base of the tree, slicing less than halfway through. Then, he summoned a mighty hurricane, devastating the large branches, which fell like rain.

"That would be… my Gale Boomerang." he said softly.

The mysterious man withdrew his sword once again, slicing and slashing until there were nothing but small wood chips.

"Oh? Thank you!" I said. "And what is the name of my hero?"

"I so very humbly introduce myself as Link, the Hero of Twilight." he said, bowing. "You are the esteemed Princess Rosalina."

"Link, Hero of Twilight, you have my eternal gratitude. I have one question, though. Have you seen my Luma? She's about yea big, yellow, and with an adorable face."

Link chuckled. The Gale Boomerang came rushing back out of nowhere, and when it stopped moving, it slowly allowed Luma down to the ground.

"Oh, thank you! See, I'm new to Smash Brothers and-"

"I understand. You're also the one who gave Mario such a scolding earlier, I presume." he scoffed.

"Whatever, Hero of Still A Better Love Story Than Twilight!" I shouted at him. I expected a bigger response, but he simply turned his head and walked away.


	8. Ridley DECONFIRMED: Samus Chapter

Chapter 8

It is impossible to avoid. Sakurai and my Zero Suit. I get all kinds of harassment over it, and it bothers me **immensely**. Ever since the original Metroid, I have worn my awesome Power Suit that I wore during my adventures on Planet Zebes. Shooting space pirates is my thing, not wearing revealing clothing and kicking people.

I can't say it was better in the old days, I can only say it's worse now. I used to have the option to switch between the Power Suit and Zero Suit on the fly. In fact, it was a strength, to have two sets of moves. Now, I have to stick with only one during a match.

This worried me from the very start, as Sakurai told me this disappointing news in his invitation letter.

_Dear Samus Aran,_

_ I am very pleased to announce (although you probably already knew) you are invited to return to the new Smash game, Super Smash Brothers for Nintendo 3DS. In the previous game, I could tell did not enjoy your Zero Suit form, and I think I know why. Because it was a hassle! _(Interruption here: Newflash Masahiro, but it's TOTALLY not how sexualized it is! Not at aaaall!)_ So, I have separated the two. That's right! You no longer are under the burden of switching between your Varia and Zero Suits. You only have to stick with one the whole time. But, you may have a question! It is most likely 'But won't I be weaker with only one?' and to that I must reply with a rejoiceful 'No!' Why? Your Zero Suit is now armed with Rocket Boots! Your Varia Suit is equally powered up!_

_Your designer,_

_Masahiro Sakurai_

OMG, he totally missed the point! I was absolutely furious. I didn't even have a way to get to the 3DS hub. Yeah, Metroid might be going out of style, but no matter. I had a plan. First, I called Ridley. Not on a phone. I just hollered at the top of my lungs.

"Hey, ugly scumbag of a dragooon!"

Ridley flew into me. I was wearing my Power Suit though, so I Screw Attacked underneath Ridley to get a powerful blow, stunning him to the ground.

"Hey, could you take me to Nintendo Zone? I figured you work there, as all denied Smashers work at that dump of a convenience store." I asked. "Hey, you! Pussywillow! I wasn't asking. Yes, it was presented as a question, but it was **AN ORDER!**" I yelled.

Ridley unhappily flew me over to the Nintendo Zone, and I had to hoof it from there to Smash Hall, the apparent new gigantic facility that it somehow free. I did think about using my Morph Ball, but that would hurt, rolling that long. I continued sprinting at a fast clip, when I heard a high-pitched whizzing noise from behind me. I stopped in my tracks, and reared my head, to see an unpleasant blue blur, an all too familiar one. It was Sonic.

Sonic was carrying a boombox, blasting tunes. "Rolling around at the speed of sound, Got places to go, gotta follow my rainbow. Can't stick around, have to keep moving on, Guess what lies ahead, only one way to find out!" it went. Sonic stopped, screeching to a halt.

"Hey, look who it is! It's Samus Aran, A.K.A. Mrs. Skin-Tight! Where are heading to on your feet? Who do you think you are, Sonic the Hedgehog or something?"

"Well, I was walking to Smash Hall." I replied.

"Samus, Samus, Samus! It's 25 more miles! No way you'd make it there in time!" Sonic giggled.

"Well, obviously I have no other choice here." I sighed.

"I could carry you on my back, I guess. Assuming your jiggle physics don't decapitate me!" Sonic laughed hysterically.

"You know what, I'll take what I can get!" I said, exhausted.

I hopped on Sonic's back, and off he went. To be honest, I expected more speed from _the_ Sonic the Hedgehog himself. Thank goodness, he was fast enough to get there in under a minute.

"Well Samus, now you gotta pay the fare." Sonic said, grinning like a cat.

"What fricking fare?" I said.

"Now you have to give me a kiss!" he replied.

If he thought I was as dumb as that, then I think it's Sonic who's the dumb one. Right when Sonic closed his eyes, I pulled out a Metroid baby, not enough to kill him, but it'd give him electrical spasms for about a day. I slammed it into his face, and rolled away as a Morph Ball as fast as I could muster.

"Hey! Aaaah! What is this? Oh my god this hurts!" Sonic cried. "I'm not letting you get away with this, Samus Aran! You hear me?"

I popped out of my Morph Ball. "Well, you let me know when your little friend lets go, Sonic! I think he's getting attached to you now!" I laughed so hard then.

I entered Smash Hall, everything seemed pretty normal. I saw most of my friends from Brawl. Unfortunately, I couldn't be friends with any of the men, and I just can't bring myself to gossip with girls all day. So thank God I saw R.O.B sitting in the lounge, as he is cool, if not boring occasionally. He is a good listener!

"Hey, R.O.B! How's my ol' Robotic Operating Buddy? You just chilling here? Can I talk with you a while?" I greeted my friend.

"Hello Samus Aran. I am not of any temperature different than is normal, so I'd have to disagree with your statement that I am 'chilling'. Other than that, yes, I'd very much enjoy hearing what you have to say." R.O.B buzzed.

"Oh, you! Well, I have just the best tale to tell you! So, Sonic saw me walking to Smash Hall, and so he offered me a ride, and then when we got here, he wanted to kiss me, and there's no way I would, like, _ever_ do that! When he closed his eyes, I stuck a little baby Metroid on his lips! It's like licking a 9-Volt, I'd imagine! Isn't that just the best?" I said excitedly.

"Of course, Samus. Are you interested in hearing what I did recently?" R.O.B. asked.

"Uh, sure."

"I spent eight years collecting dust in Sakurai's closet. Then, Super Smash Brothers for Nintendo 3DS was announced. Then, he got me out. Now, I'm here. Interesting, hmm?"

"That's really great, R.O.B! How much dust did you collect?" I laughed.

"When I previously stated I was collecting dust, I was attempting to use the speech pattern known as a figure of speech. Of all people, I would expect you to understand, Samus Aran. Are you aware that dust is partially made of human skin?"

When R.O.B. decides to start a game of _Are You Aware_, it can go on for hours. I'm not exaggerating in the slightest. He can just spit out facts forever.

"Are you aware the movie _Texas Chainsaw Massacre_ is set in the state of Texas?"

"Yes, R.O.B, I was in fact aware of that."

"Are you aware Pee-Wee Herman once did a PSA on crack cocaine?"

"Actually, no."

"Are you aware Paul Reubens, the actor of Pee-Wee Herman, was arrested for-"

All of a sudden, a dog creeped up on our futon, stood in a begging position, with both arms up, and showed all of his teeth, and laughed so hard at R.O.B. Then, a bird swooped in and perched on the dog's back.

"Aw, hey little buddy! Where'd a wittle cutie wike you come fwom? Huh? Huh?" I said in baby talk, picking him up and placing him on my lap.

"Samus Aran, in case your human hearing couldn't pick it up, Little Mac of Punch-Out fame just commented to Dark Pit on, and I quote, how much he wanted to be that damn dog right there. I apologize for the obscenity, but I was simply quoting word-for-word what he said." R.O.B. whirred.

Suddenly, as if my entire circle of friends from Brawl had decided to congregate, that is to say, two, Mr. Game & Watch strolled into the lounge, and of course he had his translation box on.

"Hiya, Sammy! So glad to see a familiar face all of a sudden. So many new characters..." he shook his head.

"Hi. I know, right? I don't know, like, even half of these people!" I replied.

"Samus Aran, I must admit, that might not have been the wisest statement to make." R.O.B. said flatly.

"Aw, lay off her, R.O.B! You're such a know-it-all sometimes, man!" Mr. Game & Watch pointed out.

"Is nobody concerned about this dog? Nobody at all?" I pressed.

Pit stood up. "Yes, it's the dog from Duck Hunt, and one bird."

"Yeah, but how'd it get here? Does this wittle fella have an owner?"

Duck Hunt leaped up and slapped me on the face with his paws. Not even that hard, either. It was more of a comical slap. All of a sudden, these pixelated men in suits and sombreros popped up. They honestly looked like part of a drug cartel.

"Guys, the dog and bird _are_ the owners, got it? They just can't talk, awright? Give him some respect. If anyone decides to give Duck Hunt any more trouble, we're gonna do a lot more than a warning shot." the lean one in black said.

"Yeah, Manny!" one in brown cheered.

"Awright? Awright then. Let's go, boys!" the first one called. Duck Hunt followed.

"Man, Sammy! It seems the little puppy has a posse. That'd make a great movie, _Puppy with a Posse_. Don't you think? Huh? Huh?" Mr. Game & Watch exploded in excitement.

"I'd love to see you on a Red Bull…" I muttered, walking off.


	9. Wii Fit Trainer Reprise

Chapter 9

It was just a regular day at Smash Hall. We'd had time to get acclimated to the atmosphere, time to soak in the general air of extravagance, and now we were used to it. I woke up to the sound of generic Wii music.

"Ah, this place is a wonderful place to wake up in!" I sighed.

I commenced my regular morning workout routine. I hopped on my treadmill and set it to a challenging incline, and did a nice power walk set at 3.5 for ten minutes. Then, I set the incline to zero for a nice sprint. I aimed for 90% of my maximum heart rate, and I hit it. Afterwards, I went for some squats, with dumbbells at my sides. Afterwards, I went for overhead presses for twenty minutes. Some yoga for cool down, and I was ready to start the day.

Opening my door a crack, I saw R.O.B. powered down in the hallway.

"I'll turn you back on, little buddy!" I said to nobody in particular, flipping R.O.B.'s switch.

I strolled down the hallway, and checked the clock hanging down from the ceiling. 4:00 AM. Well then.

I walked down the flight of stairs leading to the dining hall. I didn't expect Monita, the robotic cook, would be up yet, so I knew it would be quiet, solitary, and generally undisturbed for the time being. It was anything but that. Wario and Ganondorf were hunched over the far corner of the large, rectangular table, probably drinking.

"Hey, guys! Hey!" I called. Nothing.

I dashed over to the corner where they were. Ganondorf was lying on the table, and he looked in pain. Wario was chewing up metal beer cans, eating the metal and beer.

"Weh heh heh! Ganondorf and I were having a, uh, little contest last night! Obviously I won! He passed out like he took a bunch of Tylenol!" Wario wheezed.

"Um, if I may ask, why are you still drinking if you won?" I asked.

"He might wake up, don't you think Wii No Brainer? Weh heh heh!"

"But, you said if he passed out, you win!" I reminded Wario.

"Listen girlie, I just need an excuse to drink on what could be called the job."

I decided to ignore him for the time being. I shook Ganondorf. Nothing. I baby-slapped Ganondorf in the face. Still dozing away. I shut my eyes, clenched my teeth, and slapped Ganondorf across the face as hard as I could.

"ARGH!" Ganondorf shouted.

I began backing off, not wanting to see his incurred wrath.

"Wii Fit, seriously? You had better unslap my face before you won't be able to slap any more!" Ganondorf roared, chasing after me, down the long stretch of table.

"Ganon**dork**, can you do this?" I taunted, bending my legs, preparing for an incredible jump. I flipped into the air, grabbing hold of the crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling. I held my breath, and clutched hold of it. Without looking down, I positioned myself in a comfortable sitting position.

I peered down. I must have been twenty feet up in the air! How did I even get up that high? I remembered that Ganondorf was attempting to unload a Warlock Punch on me, and if I had jumped at just the right moment…

"Curse you! I'm going to call Ghirahim, and then he'll.." Ganondorf began.

Then, the door bust open. A teen with blond, tousled hair came running towards Ganondorf.

"This is the Monado's Power! Monado **Jump**!" he shouted, his gigantic sword, as well as his body, glowing green.

The boy jumped an incredible amount, soaring up straight to me, and he almost fell. He caught himself, and held on tight to the pipes hidden in the ceiling.

"Hello, my name is Shulk, and I just want to say, thank _God_ for plumbing!" Shulk said, laughing. "But, miss! This is truly no laughing matter, as there's an oversized Gerudo git we need to crush."

I realized that I was holding his gigantic sword, and the chandelier was to the near point of falling. I wanted to give it back to him, but of course he needed his hands to hold on.

"I'm comin' down!" Shulk warned, swinging on top of the chandelier, grabbing his sword.

"No!" I cried.

The chandelier came crashing down the whole twenty feet, crashing into Ganondorf, smashing him into the metal floor. Shulk picked me up, holding me in his arms.

"Careful miss, the broken crystal, though beautiful, is dangerous. Shulk said.

Then he put me back down, and dragged Ganondorf out from under the rubble.

"I'm really feeling it! Monado Buster!" Shulk shouted towards the heavens.

Shulk's Monado and clothes glowed a burning red, as he kicked Ganondorf up, and swung at him, slamming the Gerudo into the wall, and out cold.

"If I may, I must make my leave now. Monado Speed!" Shulk called, dashing away, out of sight.

Of course, I got out of there as soon as possible to avoid Ganondorf waking up. As I turned out of the door, I was stopped by a middle aged man, out of shape, but at some point could have been very strong.

"Hey, hey, hey! Why, look who it is! It's Wii Fit Trainer, by golly! My name is Jerome Louis, but you can call me Doc." he grinned.

"Um, hi Doc! I don't believe we've met. I guess you know I'm Wii Fit Trainer already. Is there anything I can help you with?"

"Oh, yes! I was about to tell you. See, my protege Mac, I've been teachin' him to box for a while now. He's won a few championships over his time. So, he was invited to this Smash Hall place to be part of some tournament that's gonna happen. The problem is, this sure ain't boxing, heh heh! So I was going to ask you... would you help me train Little Mac?" Doc Louis asked.

"Sure! I'd love to, Doc! I can start any time." I replied.

"Well, dontcha want to meet 'im first?" Doc asked, dragging me along.

Doc Louis took me all the way up to the top floor of the building, one floor up from my room. A bunch of photographers and interviewers were asking questions through the door, banging, and generally making a commotion.

"Excuse me, guys. Little Mac, he's-" Doc Louis tried to speak over the crowd. "_TWEEEEET!"_ Doc blew his whistle. "**EXCUSE ME!**" Doc shouted. "I am _trying_ to get to my trainee, Little Mac. He is _not_ taking interviews at the moment! Now scram!"

All the reporters dispersed quickly, making an opening straight to Little Mac's door. Doc Louis had some scanner card that unlocked Little Mac's door.

"Mac! Stop watching ESPN for one moment and take a look at your new trainer, Wii Fit!"

Little Mac switched off the flatscreen TV and got up.

"Hey, I'm Little Mac, I'm from the Bronx, nice to meet ya." Mac said.

I couldn't wait to see how strong he was.


End file.
